Are You Satisfied?

Okay you guys. Thanks to your encouragement, I’m going to commit to writing every Monday about what’s on my mind or weighing on my heart. I’ve never kept a journal—why write it down if you can talk about it?!—and often wondered if I was missing out. This will be an interesting experiment. I may burn out or run out of things to say, in which case maybe you can help me out with some topics? As long as this remains a positive forum, I totally open to suggestions!

itsokay

Over the weekend I caught the pilot of Satisfaction. For a USA network show it wasn’t nearly as trashy as I expected (though still not as good as Suits.) Based on the trailer, you might think it’s all about sex and marriage and cheating spouses. And while that is the premise (this is USA network, after all), at the core are characters questioning whether they are truly satisfied with the life they’ve created. It’s a theme I spend an inordinate amount of time obsessing about with friends: Are you satisfied?  Will we ever be satisfied? Wait—what does it even MEAN to be satisfied? What would that feel like or look like? Clearly I don’t have the answer to this one. My lack of sophistication in the satisfaction department is evident by the constant furniture rearranging I do at home. Why can’t I just be satisfied with the placement of the throw pillows or the color of those walls? Mr. Bets often asks me the same thing.

In moments of clarity I know that my fussing and zhoushing is a combination of decorating as creative outlet (totally healthy) and placing too much emphasis on stuff to satisfy my soul. I love beautiful things and have made a living writing about them, but I’m beginning to think that all the stuff our first-world lives afford is often a distraction from our inner voice telling us what we need to feel more satisfied. The same goes for social media, which creates so much noise in our daily lives that we can’t possibly get quiet enough to listen to what our inner self needs. Again, guilty as charged. And yet, I keep getting little nudges, like a TV show, or spending time a ton of precious with my family this summer, that confirm what I already know and just need to lean into: That it’s okay to want more, as long as going after it doesn’t diminish your appreciation for what you already have.

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